tuesday nights

[another, this one from 3/13/2003, just because she's beautiful and i miss her.]

"I can't believe you walked all the way over here holding two tortillas..." she said, laughing as I borrowed some cheese.
"Actually, my feet were going too slow and I was impatient. I ran."

"I could fall asleep right now. Is it even 8:00 yet? I think this place makes me tired..." she said as we waited for her tea to steep.
With a smile I pointed to the clock: "It's only 6:45."

"I'm glad I got to be alone on Sunday. I almost came and got you, but I needed to cry without comfort..." she said, grabbing my arm as we walked.
"I understand. We all need to let go sometimes...but I would have come."

"Do you think you'll go back? I don't know what we're even looking for anymore..." she said as we passed under the faded lights.
"I might. It felt a little like home."

"This makes me think of the Bay area -- the smell of water and moss on a freezing cold night..." she said as we entered the park.
"Let's stop for a second and soak it in."

"Can you imagine your son doing something like that? He was just one of those good boys..." she said, searching my face as we sat on a bench.
"I can't imagine a lot of what people's sons do these days."

"Wait -- listen -- do you hear the sounds of the night? I want to go away so badly..." she said as we leaned over the water.
"I miss people too much right now."

"I think I'll make that my mantra for the night: I'm going home, I'm going home, I'm going home..." she said as we walked back to campus.
"I wish I could. Stupid crew."

"I think I want to read 'Anne' when I get back to my room. Or go to bed. I'd really like to sit and read..." she said as we darted across the street.
I teased: "I'm supposed to be so impressed with how good you're going to be tonight!"

"Do you know that feeling you have when you're a senior in high school and you walk around campus and everything is so comfortable? I've felt like that lately at school..." she said, her voice echoing down the empty street.
"I don't know why I'm so anxious for time to pass. I can't believe how quickly it does."

"I sat still for a long time today; I listened to everything and closed my eyes..." she said.

"I prayed for understanding and direction in the future that I can't wait for..." she said.

"I thought of his song and burst into tears. I don't know why, but it hurt me so badly..." she said.

"For a minute I understood the slightest bit why God would even want to send himself down to earth..." she said.

"I wish I could melt here right now..." she said.


Or maybe that was me.