flying with baby

I've had a catch-up week for sleep, laziness, and general relaxation. Our trip to CA was excellent but tiring, especially after last week's busyness, so I decided to allow myself a week to recoup. (All of that to say, I haven't updated with pictures and stories yet, but I'm not going to feel guilty about it!)

There are pictures of family and my little guy over here, but I wanted to share about our travel experiences. Benjamin has flown about 12 times in the last year (6 trips), and each time has been a unique experience. As he's been in various stages of growth for each one, I thought I would share some of the wisdom I've gathered.

• Traveling with a baby means lots and lots of stuff. It's unavoidable. Take, for example, this weekend: We were going for 2 nights and managed to pack all of our clothes into one suitcase (including diapers, a few toys, and some emergency food for little guy, this is a huge improvement from previous weekend trips!) BUT then we had to pack his diaper bag with extra diapers, snacks, books, etc for the airport/plane (FYI sealed yogurt is a no-no with TSA. Who knew??) and a carry-on with some of our necessities (mostly things we don't like to check, like my camera). Then, since this was a trip to my grandparents' house and not down to southern CA, we had to take his pack-n-play for sleeping and his stroller for walks (the difference is, we have extras of these things that we leave at our parents' houses to avoid looking like Sherpas at the airport). We also had to take his car seat this time, since we weren't renting a car and there wasn't an extra available. All in all, quite the load for a quick weekend trip!!
• Teamwork is essential. I know this isn't always an option (like my trip down south next month without Corey... yikes!) but when you have the extra person, it's best to sketch out a game-plan. Example: One person gets the car from long-term parking, the other gathers luggage and waits *ever so patiently* on the curb. Or, one person worries about checking in and getting everything situated while the other is in charge of corralling/entertaining/feeding interesting things to baby. Once on the plane, teamwork mostly consists of one persons arm going numb under the (hopefully) sleeping child and the other person passing along sympathetic looks -- or one person trying to keep a squirming, active, curious 14-month-old contained to their lap while the other tries not to get an eye poked out in the scramble.
• Aim to fly during a normal sleep-time. This has been a tried-and-true tactic for us, and it has rarely backfired... with the exception of a late-night flight when people were being drunk, loud, etc behind us, and this last trip, when nap-time became a joke. This is still a good plan when flying with an infant, but I'm starting to wonder if they would do better fully awake after the 1-year mark. (Especially a kiddo like Benjamin, who gets hyper the more tired he becomes...) Of course, then you have to entertain a fully-awake and curious toddler while keeping them confined to your lap -- but hopefully without the whining.
• Have a back-up plan. This could be a treat, a favorite toy, a bottle of milk... whatever might appease your child should they become THAT baby on the plane. For us, this has included a bottle (or me, when we were doing that sort of thing), his butterfly toy, his favorite book, his blanket, little snacks... and this last trip, a laptop with the Animaniacs on it. (Don't judge! It's better than having him ruin the flight for everyone!) We also took his binkie, even though we've been weaning him from it, because it's a guaranteed way to calm him down/get him to sleep (or at least plug his escalating chatter).
• Medicate. Only joking! Well, half-joking. We've considered a little dose of baby tylenol before a long flight but always forget -- unfortunately we've had two trips coincide with a teething Benjamin and he's been miserable. This last trip, on the plane ride home, we remembered to give him a little tylenol before checking in and he was much happier on the plane (could have helped that he was absolutely exhausted from our trip!) For our flight next month I've considered a dose of something or other, since I'll be alone with him and he's awfully strong/active/big (plus, there's not much of my lap for him to fit on at this point!!) but I still have issues with giving him anything when he's not actually needing it. We'll see.
• Always always fly Alaska. Or, more importantly, never NEVER fly Southwest. We've used Alaska for every trip except this last one, and from the start we were able to see the difference. The Alaska people are always helpful, understanding, and accommodating when they see you travelling with a baby (and all of the baby's stuff). In the past, they have allowed my dad to help me to the gate (post-marathon when I flew home alone with Benjamin), they have looked the other way at our heavy luggage, they have moved our seats to give us more space, they let us board early, and they don't charge us to check a carseat, a stroller, or a pack-n-play. The best thing is, they have done all of these things without our asking for extra help (you might know that I'm horrible at asking for special favors!) Southwest, on the other hand, is horrible. They don't charge for a carseat/pack-n-play, but they count that combo as one checked item (which, these days, is all that you're allowed without paying extra). Then, they act as though they're cutting you a break for not charging extra. They insist that you provide proof of your baby's age no matter how old your infant. We saw on their website that they required a birth certificate to prove that a lap child is under 2, but we figured that our little guy (who, by the way is below the 50th percentile and actually little) was an obvious under-2. Also, we don't have his birth certificate on hand... but that's another story. When we tried to check-in she gave us a hard time about not having proof (apparently, their policy applies to everyone -- even if your infant is a week old) and then listed off things we could have provided in place of a birth certificate (immunization records, etc.) That would have been helpful to list on the website, don't you think?? Anyway, as we didn't bring those things with us, she gave us a break "just this once" and let us board without buying an extra ticket for Benjamin. On the way home, we got the third-degree again. I looked at the man who was checking us in and said, "We're flying home. If we didn't know that we had to bring proof on this trip, and we're just now coming home from this trip, why would we suddenly have the proof you need??" His reply? "Well, you're supposed to have someone fax you a copy of the proof of age." Excuse me? Wouldn't that have been nice to mention back when we checked in the first time? Again, he hemmed and hawed and protested, but eventually "did us a favor" and let us take Benjamin without buying another seat. "Next time, make sure you bring something... especially when you have such a big boy. It's really hard to tell age," he said, as Benjamin babbled incoherently and tried to eat his shoe. I sat there thinking, "How many 2-year-olds have you seen in your life??" while Corey responded, "Next time we're not flying Southwest, thanks." But oh, there's more. They don't offer pre-boarding for families anymore, but they do allow you to board between groups A and B (gee thanks). That's not so bad if you're boarding a previously empty plane, but if you're tacking onto a flight that's already got passengers continuing on from somewhere else, boarding after group A could mean not getting to sit with your family... and that makes the teamwork not really possible. Since I was pregnant (and thus "disabled") they allowed us to pre-board... but I had to remind them to give me the pre-board card and then I had to convince the flight attendant that I was in fact pregnant and not just trying to get extra favors for my family. Believe it or not, I could keep going... but this bullet point has become an essay. Basically, stick to Alaska.

We're already thinking about next winter and how we'll get to CA with Benjamin, Rutabaga, and all of their combined stuff. It was quite the adventure to drive with Benjamin last year, but when I consider the alternative...? Generally my feeling on flights is similar to the removing-a-bandaid theory -- though painful, at least it's over with more quickly. I might end up amending that when we have TWO lap children!

passed out on the plane during my last solo experience

safety

We had an interesting experience last night. I had just finished posting and joined Corey in our bathroom to get ready for bed when we heard the sliding glass door open. Usually when we come back to our room for bed we lock up the house and turn off all of the lights, but I admit that I'm worse about checking locks than he is... especially the back doors. Still, I had locked the front door and assumed that the back doors were locked.
Our sliding door has a very loud and distinct sound -- it rumbles, it squeaks, and it grates as you open it. We were brushing our teeth and joking about something, and then we were looking at each other wide-eyed and asking, "Was that the back door??" There wasn't any question, really, because it's so loud.
What do you do when there's someone in your house who shouldn't be? I feel beyond safe in our neighborhood and have forgotten to lock even the front door without giving it a second thought. We've left our garage doors open all night (obviously not on purpose...) and never been worried. I can't really describe the shock that went through me when I heard that door open last night, but you can probably imagine my instinct. Benjamin, asleep in his room, was a hallway and a baby-gate away from us.
We had moved a phone to our bedroom earlier in the day, and Corey used it to call 911. He locked our bedroom door, despite my repeated "but Benjamin!" As he explained our situation to the operator, I kept waiting for her to say "go ahead and get your son, just be quick and quiet." Silly, I know, but I kept hoping. Even now, when the rational side of me is back and I can see clearly that it's better to keep him asleep and safe in his crib while we're locked and safe in our bedroom, I can't say that I wouldn't try and get to him again. Instead, Corey had me sit down and I began to pray words that hadn't come to mind since Benjamin was a little Rhubarb, tiny and uncertain in my womb. "God, I can't be sure that my baby is safe. I can't hold him and see him and protect him right now. But you can. You've been forming him, and shaping him, and you know how to care for him better than I do. Hold my little one for me, until I get the chance."

Thankfully, there were several cops in our immediate area and they were tromping through our backyard within about 5 minutes. We hadn't heard anything else from inside the house, and I had been hoping that whoever opened the door just saw the newly-positioned computer and thought it was enough. When we met the officer at the back door we saw that the sliding door was closed and locked. How? No idea. He hadn't seen anything by the side-yard so he figured that someone tried to open the door and couldn't actually get in. He thanked Corey for calling and keeping his family safe, then left us to check on Benjamin and go to bed. (I didn't end up waking Benjamin because he had been up briefly with teething pain at 9, but I made sure that he was sleeping soundly and safe.)
My heart had a hard time calming down after we were "safe" again... which was made more difficult by the adrenaline shot that woke our Rutabaga. There had been no real danger, thankfully, and we were in the best possible situation, but it's hard to ignore the fear from not-knowing. We thought about it later and realized that Corey had been the last one outside that afternoon, which means (a)the door had been locked all along (he's much better about that than I am!) and (b)the screen door had been shut as well (one of his habits). When the cops were here they pointed out that the screen was half-open, which could have been the noise we heard. Our screen is loud and squeaky, certainly, but we both heard the rumble that accompanies the glass door as well. I can't explain it at all, but I don't think we over-reacted.

God has been giving me a lot of lessons in control lately. I take too many things for granted in my life, mostly because they've been easy in the past. My sense of security hasn't been coming from anything other than the knowledge that it's been OK until now. So when things start to get shaky, I take an "everything will work out" attitude and then try to fix it. In the past week or so I've had to reach a place of surrender with job situations, financial worries, peace, and my marriage. I'm re-learning to trust God with these things, even though it's been a long and slow process. Despite being a small matter, last night was hard for me -- but I've been reminded again of Isaiah 23:6 and for that I am grateful.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

Mom's day off

I meant to follow-up on my Saturday activities before this week started, but that (obviously) didn't happen and now I'm full-swing into VBS at church. I've been spending my mornings with 9 kindergarten/first-graders, and they have energy! I don't feel extremely tired when I'm chasing them around and joining in on activities/dance moves, but every day I come home and feel like collapsing. Thankfully, my boy has been extremely understanding and lets me take lots of rest time. I still have my own bundle of energy waiting for me, but he's been pretty understanding too... We've spent some afternoons in the kiddie pool out back (rather than our usual long walk to the park) but he doesn't seem to mind.

Anyway! Last Saturday was excellent, and I'm so thankful that I had the chance to get a "break." I spent a few hours de-cluttering and organizing, and then I got to have lunch with a friend and share some love. I rested a bit in the afternoon but couldn't get rid of that "when is Benjamin going to wake up??" feeling -- and by the time I went to pick him up I was really missing him.

I'm not finished with all of my projects and to-dos (ha! am I ever?) but there was definite progress:

Before --
(the piles of clothes are from a friend with 3 daughters... "just in case" Rutabaga is a little girl. We're certainly feeling blessed by our friends!)

After --
(OK, yeah, it looks pretty much the same. But dusting and organizing happened!)


Before --
(Ugh.)

After -- I forgot to take a picture! Dishes got done and put away... I'm still hoping to scrub down the counters again.

Before --


After --
(Yay!)

Before --
After --
(Again, not much obvious difference. I cleaned the mirror, dusted, tidied... and closed the closet door! That's about 3 different projects waiting to happen!)


Before --
(These are the pictures I'm embarrased to share...)

After -- None! I didn't get nearly enough done on the office... but Corey and I have spent some afternoons in there this week, and I'm happy to say that my school books/papers/etc are organized, my desk (and his!!!) are cleared, a bookshelf has been moved, and we've relocated his computer to the front room. I'll definitely have to post some pictures soon because it looks (finally!) like we're anticipating a baby in a few months.

Before --

After --
(I love bedrooms because making the bed changes everything... even though some dusting happened too!)

And, just to share, my friend's sweet little boy --


We're headed to the bay area this weekend, but hopefully I'll be back to regular updates next week! Also, in case you missed the memo, we're having video week with Benjamin.

nesting

(I've been updating over here, off and on.)

There's this strange urge that's been coming over me lately, especially with new-found time in my schedule and a house full of projects. It seems that all I really want to do is organize, and clean, and finish things. I'm not worried that the baby is coming early, because I still haven't had the must-clean-oven-at-all-costs feelings yet, but the rest of my house is looking like fair game. Unfortunately, every time I start a project (usually during nap time) I find myself unable to complete it (usually because of awake time). Do you know how frustrating that is to a nesting woman?? Plus, nap time is when I like to do "maintenance" -- such as dishes, tidying, washing myself, etc. That usually leaves me 15-30 minute snippets of time to accomplish huge tasks.

Because yes, as my husband is fond of pointing out, I am the queen of Huge Tasks. I've heard all sorts of advice on cleaning as I go, setting a timer and spending 10 minutes in each room every day, doing small things with many breaks, etc... but the reality is, I'm a binge cleaner. I start in a room, say organizing books, and when I finish I think to myself, "Wow, I'm in a groove..." so then I start sorting papers, going through piles, and rearranging furniture. These days, I get about halfway done sorting papers and end up with 20 piles all over the room... which makes it look worse.

All of that to say, tomorrow is my day to nest! A friend is taking Benjamin for the entire day, and all I have to do with myself is clean, clean, clean. Is it strange how excited I am about this?? Of course, the friend is mildly irked because she offered to take him hoping that I would get a day for rest and pampering -- but I know I'll feel much better if I can just get some of my projects completed. I plan on taking lots of pictures because nothing is better than admitting to how messy your house has become after you've cleaned it.

Now, everyone pray with me that my desire for nesting won't suddenly disappear tomorrow morning!

the 4th, revisited

We had a relaxing holiday, as anticipated, and almost decided to head downtown for fireworks after all... but when it came time to wake Benjamin up (at 9:15) we were both pretty tired. So next year!

As promised:

watching Daddy sweep the patio

...and move the furniture...

he's so ready to be out there!

cutie!

Since we were missing fireworks this year, I started thinking about the best fireworks show I've experienced (and I'm sure my boy would agree...) We were in Sorrento, Italy on our honeymoon, and one night we heard a great big BOOM -- so loud and close that the room shook. We were mildly freaked! Turns out, they were shooting fireworks off the dock below our hotel... no apparent reason, other than the fact that the town across the bay had done it the night before and it was decided that Sorrento could do better. We had a great view, being right above the water, and we were as close as I'd ever been. On top of that, it was a pretty impressive display -- would have put any 4th of July celebration I'd seen to shame. So I sorted through some pictures and thought I'd share a few:

the view in daylight, so you can see how close we were

and below... doesn't it make you want to dive in??

oooh

aaah
(with this one you can see how close to the water they were shooting -- since it was over water and all)

And while I was sifting I found this forgotten gem, taken with the back-up camera and thus never shared:

it's rare to get an eyes-open picture from my boy!

OK, now I'm ready to go back to Italy.

Happy 4th!

We don't have any exciting plans for the day -- just a lunch barbecue with a friend in the area -- because July pretty much caught us by surprise! Sadly, the sun doesn't finishing setting until around 10pm these days... so no fireworks for us either this year (almost makes me miss living downtown... the fireworks were in our back yard!) I know that Benjamin won't miss it, and there will be lots of other times for him to see fireworks, so we're just going to enjoy a day of no work. (Naturally, I say this as I'm sitting on my rear at the computer and my husband is trying to man-handle a new bookshelf into place...)

I don't have a patriotic picture of our little guy because he's passed out and in his pajamas (I'm not going to mess with that!!) so until I get one, behold the little cherub one year ago today:



(BTW, It's when I'm sifting through these pictures that I think, "Crap! We're about to start this all over again??!")

AND on an unrelated note, I had my first experience with tofu the other night. OK, so I've had tofu before, but never had to cook it for myself. We decided that it would be good for Benjamin to try eating it, since he seems to prefer the softness of fish to the chewiness of chicken, and thus I ended up at the store, staring blankly at tofu and wondering where to begin. (Firm? Extra Firm? Silky? What does it all mean??) Thankfully, the extra-firm had a subtitle (best for grilling and stir-fry) and I thought, "Aha! I'll make a stir-fry." When I got home, I stared blankly again at the strange substance before me and wondering how in the heck I was supposed to cook it. I felt pretty ridiculous, not even knowing how to cut it up or if I should rinse it, but thankfully there's this beautiful contraption called "The Internet," and within it a place called "you tube." I spent about 20 minutes watching OTHER people cook tofu and that was mildly helpful, except that all of them started with pre-prepped tofu. I then seriously considered calling my friend Molly, who surely knows how I should be handling all of this, but seeing as it was about 11pm in NY I decided against it. In the end I cubed it and seasoned the heck out of it, then handled it as though it were chicken in any other stir-fry. The result:


(I should also note that I ran out of soy sauce about half way through this cooking adventure... so next time I'll make sure to have enough!) Not too bad, and Benjamin absolutely loves the tofu -- so we'll call it a success! Now, if any of you have some tofu-tips for me, I'll gladly take them for 'next time.'