running

"...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1b-3)

I've decided to embrace the over-achieving, over-committing, over-working female genes that seem to have been passed down to me. That is, I've decided that maybe I'm not doing enough. I know, I know, I keep myself pretty busy... but shouldn't I be more proactive about the remaining baby weight? Shouldn't I have just one more goal in my sights? And also, shouldn't I be keeping up with my mom and sister?? Indeed.

So, in that spirit, I've decided to run a half-marathon this summer. I wasn't about to fly down to CA (and bring the rain with me again) just for a weekend run, even though it would have been fun to race with my mom and sister, but thankfully I was able to convince my friend Annie that it would be fun to do one up here. We'll talk about her sanity later. (Speaking of sanity... my sister, with whom I shared a blood-oath to never even think the word marathon again after our last trip to hell and back, decided to run the full LA marathon with her friend. Yeah, I know, I was horrified too. She's lucky I love her, otherwise she would have been cut out completely. Traitor.)

To say that it's been hard to start training again would be an understatement. My body hasn't run, I mean REALLY run, since I was 8 weeks pregnant. That's like, a year ago. Oh, and in the meantime I gained 35 lbs, had a baby, lost 35 lbs, and shifted parts of my body to new and unusual places. Running and I aren't best friends right now.

And yet, thanks to the need to keep myself on the same level as the other women in my family, I'm back on a training schedule. Running when you're out of shape is painful, it's embarrassing, and it always seems like it should be easier. Basically, it totally sucks.

As I was out for my little jaunt around the park the other day I was struck by the ways that my spiritual life has been paralleling this running adventure. Because, if I'm being really honest, this time of Lent has been a chance to open my Bible, bow my head in prayer, and realize how out of shape I am. The most surprising thing so far has been that it hurts. It's not easy. I don't want to do it most of the time. And wow, but isn't that embarrassing?? I've been thinking a lot about the above verse from Hebrews, appreciating the metaphor for discipline but also the need to keep fit, so to speak. Can you stop working out, gain and lose weight, put your body through difficult situations, and still get back into shape? Sure, I've done it before. I know that you can start and stop exercise routines depending on your whims, as long as you're stocked up on Tylenol and ice-packs. And yet I always think that I can start, stop, start, stop, and fizzle my way through spiritual discipline. That I can jump back in wherever I left off; that God will have been waiting and the intimacy will not have changed.

I've realized how often I fool myself with this lie, and maybe it's time for some commitment. Some acknowledgment that relationship takes work, and it's going to be awhile before I'm in shape. Some understanding that, really, that's OK. It's better, even.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to ;-) Oh, and this. And this.

lent

I've decided that I need to rethink how I'm prioritizing things in my life... and what better time than during the season of lent? The things that are important to me (and vital to my health and happiness) have taken a back seat in the chaos of life with two-under-two, and it's been too hard for me to sacrifice down-time to get those important things accomplished.

So I've decided to remove the internet from my life for the next 40 days. I don't need it that often for school (except research, and I have a journal-search clause), I shouldn't be using it so often for blogs, movies, shows, and random dallying, and really it's become too much of a hurdle for me in general. It's not going to be easy, but I guess that's the point.

Lent is about more than sacrifice, and in place of the internet I'm choosing to focus on my faith and on my family. I'll be spending my time in the Word, on the floor with my kids, and organizing my house. I'm really praying that this time can help me to re-focus on the little things that make me tick, and that I'll emerge from it with a better understanding of myself as a mother.

Of course, it's pretty much impossible to cut out the internet entirely. In fairness to grandparents (and my success as a student, I suppose) I'll be taking an hour or so every Sunday afternoon to update the kids' blogs and check my email. This blog will most likely fall lower on the priority scale (there just aren't as many cute pictures of me!) but you can know that there will most likely be new posts here and here, whether I tell you about them or not. Also, the phone is probably a better way to get a hold of me than email... at least until Easter :-)

Here's to a new season of my life!

sweet tooth

After baking cupcakes last week I couldn't wait to get back into the kitchen. I've noticed that I go through frenzies where I want to bake all the time, and then I don't want to deal with the mess so I stop. It'd probably be healthier for all of us if I would just spread it out a little and not have 12 different sweet things hanging around... but where's the fun in that?

Anyway, I had the fixings to put together some ice cream and decided it was time to pull the ol' ice cream machine out of storage (or the pantry... whatever). It always seems like such an ordeal to prep ice cream, and then in 25 minutes it's done. So easy! I got everything ready one day when I had time, and then a few days later I got to fill a sweet-craving in minutes. I'm not sure if it was a good thing for me to discover :-) We've made chocolate chip and regular vanilla before (like ages and ages ago, when my lovely mother-in-law passed the mixer on to us) so I decided to be adventurous and attempt some marbled chocolate:


It was AMAZING. Of course we cleared it all in a couple of days, but I'm definitely making more soon! Even looking at the pictures makes me want to lick the computer screen.

official taster

(I think he's catching on that it's not yogurt, even though I keep calling it that. As in, "No, you don't want any of Mommy's yogurt...")

I also saw a recipe for double-chocolate-espresso-Kahlua-brownie ice cream sandwiches, made from ice cream mixed with baileys. Sounds a little indulgent, right? I made them for Corey on Valentine's day, just because I'm nice like that, and they were a HUGE hit. I didn't take pictures right away because I was too busy trying not to make a mess, so I don't have the amazing double-decker picture that was my pride, but here's one of the smaller ones that I stocked away in the freezer:

(Emily, in case you saw the recipe and were wondering, it's TOTALLY worth the effort!!)

I'm not sure how long this baking kick is going to last, but I'm having a lot of fun trying new things (and some old, like the soda can cake that's cooling in my kitchen right now). Amazingly enough, I'm still dropping baby weight :-)

On a completely unrelated note, you might notice that I haven't posted in a week -- that's because I didn't have any homework due. Figures, right? In case you were wondering, I finished my paper before class (with 5 minutes to spare, even) and actually did pretty well on it. That, friends, is what we call BAD. As in, I'm a bad, bad influence on myself. Did I learn my lesson about procrastinating?? Heck no! I have another paper due next week, so expect some more from me soon :-)

stalling

I have a research paper that I'm supposed to be writing right now. It's due in about 3.5 hours, but I need to have it done by 5. I'm having a hard time putting my ideas down (or hey, even forming them in my head), and I think the fact that it's only a 2-pager is really working against me at this point.

What an excellent time to update my blog!

My boy went away for most of this week on a business trip, and after my last solo experience with the kiddos I knew I would need a little help. Cue Mom! Really, my mom is just about the busiest person I know... but she still dropped everything to come and help me out for a few days. How great is that?? I'm used to spending the day outnumbered, but it was so nice to have an extra set of hands (and energy) during the evening chaos. I had a hard time getting any work done (hence my current predicament) but it felt much healthier for me to relax with my mom and enjoy our time together. She even played yahtzee with me, which is something my husband refuses to do. Hooray!

On Tuesday night I went to class long enough to turn in a paper and then I headed back home to bake with my mom. I probably should feel a little guilty about that, but somehow I can't manage it. Anyway, I'd seen an absolutely amazing-looking recipe for red velvet cake/cupcakes (which I had never tasted) and knew that I had to give it a try. Especially when the chef described the taste as "not really chocolate, but something you can't describe". I totally agree, by the way. As we were baking I couldn't help pulling out my camera -- the batter looked too beautiful! I have to say that I haven't enjoyed baking this much in a long time, because the bright red just made me so happy. See what I mean?






I'm totally making these again sometime, and can't wait to see if the cake is as light and delicate as the cupcakes. YUM!

There are new posts here and here, and there will be more (with pictures) on Zah-Zah's visit... but not until Saturday. I actually pre-posted, that's how much I don't want to write my paper. Speaking of... my little clock is running out of time. Ugh.