big suprises!!

First off, NO I am NOT PREGNANT. Don't even think about it. Or joke about it. Or think about joking about it. If in fact I WERE pregnant, I would not be posting about it. I would be curled in a ball, twitching in some sort of padded room. Not that I don't love my babies and all... aren't they cute? But no. Nonono. Not right now, anyway. Instead, I have OTHER big, surprising news. Three sets of it, actually.

1. I have an internship for next year. WAHOO!! I had a last-minute interview with a regional ESD (educational services district) up here and they liked me. So yay :-) I'm not going into specifics, since this isn't exactly a private blog, but I'm really really happy about it. The sad part is that I won't be receiving any kind of stipend for the internship, which means that we'll be stretched just a little thin next year, but God has shown us that he can provide again and again. So we're trusting in that. And we should be!! (See point 3.) Oh, and I'm also really sad about having to leave my children in someone else's care for the majority of the day (starting in August anyway), but I'm not really letting myself think about that yet, since I don't really have a choice in the matter. Well, I guess I DO have a choice if I don't want to get my internship, graduate, and eventually be a school psychologist. Details.
2. We're moving! That is NOT a wahoo-worthy point, in case you were wondering. That is a very, very, VERY un-wahoo thing. The owner of our house decided to sell, and we're not in a place where we're ready to buy, so we have to get out of here. In, like, 30 days. AHHH! We're scrambling to find another place nearby (or at least somewhat nearby) and pack up all of our stuff, and get all of our utilities and whatnot in order... Plus having to repaint, deep clean, and scour this house. I'm actually really really sad about it, but that will be a post for another time. Right now, I'm trying not to think about it. (Do you sense my theme of denial? Whatever works, right?)
3. Corey got a new job! YAY! Since this job is a change by choice and not by let-go, we're very excited. I would even say it qualifies as a YAY-WAHOO thing. He'll be doing underwriting again, but don't worry. We're OK with it. And even better, he's really excited to be doing something productive with his days again. A happy boy makes a happy family :-)

So, as you can see, there's a lot happening around here. I should probably also say that my spring semester finally ended, and that my summer classes start up again next week, but I'm not really worried about the few credits I'm taking. No big deal :-) At least not when there are OTHER exciting things to plan -- like a big move, a big vacation, and a BIG BOY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY! (I guess I can no longer deny the fact that little guy is going to be 2 in a few weeks...)

This would be a characteristic time for me to say, "oh, and by the way, I'm also pregnant." BUT I'M STILL NOT. See, now isn't God gracious? :-)

running

"...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1b-3)

I've decided to embrace the over-achieving, over-committing, over-working female genes that seem to have been passed down to me. That is, I've decided that maybe I'm not doing enough. I know, I know, I keep myself pretty busy... but shouldn't I be more proactive about the remaining baby weight? Shouldn't I have just one more goal in my sights? And also, shouldn't I be keeping up with my mom and sister?? Indeed.

So, in that spirit, I've decided to run a half-marathon this summer. I wasn't about to fly down to CA (and bring the rain with me again) just for a weekend run, even though it would have been fun to race with my mom and sister, but thankfully I was able to convince my friend Annie that it would be fun to do one up here. We'll talk about her sanity later. (Speaking of sanity... my sister, with whom I shared a blood-oath to never even think the word marathon again after our last trip to hell and back, decided to run the full LA marathon with her friend. Yeah, I know, I was horrified too. She's lucky I love her, otherwise she would have been cut out completely. Traitor.)

To say that it's been hard to start training again would be an understatement. My body hasn't run, I mean REALLY run, since I was 8 weeks pregnant. That's like, a year ago. Oh, and in the meantime I gained 35 lbs, had a baby, lost 35 lbs, and shifted parts of my body to new and unusual places. Running and I aren't best friends right now.

And yet, thanks to the need to keep myself on the same level as the other women in my family, I'm back on a training schedule. Running when you're out of shape is painful, it's embarrassing, and it always seems like it should be easier. Basically, it totally sucks.

As I was out for my little jaunt around the park the other day I was struck by the ways that my spiritual life has been paralleling this running adventure. Because, if I'm being really honest, this time of Lent has been a chance to open my Bible, bow my head in prayer, and realize how out of shape I am. The most surprising thing so far has been that it hurts. It's not easy. I don't want to do it most of the time. And wow, but isn't that embarrassing?? I've been thinking a lot about the above verse from Hebrews, appreciating the metaphor for discipline but also the need to keep fit, so to speak. Can you stop working out, gain and lose weight, put your body through difficult situations, and still get back into shape? Sure, I've done it before. I know that you can start and stop exercise routines depending on your whims, as long as you're stocked up on Tylenol and ice-packs. And yet I always think that I can start, stop, start, stop, and fizzle my way through spiritual discipline. That I can jump back in wherever I left off; that God will have been waiting and the intimacy will not have changed.

I've realized how often I fool myself with this lie, and maybe it's time for some commitment. Some acknowledgment that relationship takes work, and it's going to be awhile before I'm in shape. Some understanding that, really, that's OK. It's better, even.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to ;-) Oh, and this. And this.

lent

I've decided that I need to rethink how I'm prioritizing things in my life... and what better time than during the season of lent? The things that are important to me (and vital to my health and happiness) have taken a back seat in the chaos of life with two-under-two, and it's been too hard for me to sacrifice down-time to get those important things accomplished.

So I've decided to remove the internet from my life for the next 40 days. I don't need it that often for school (except research, and I have a journal-search clause), I shouldn't be using it so often for blogs, movies, shows, and random dallying, and really it's become too much of a hurdle for me in general. It's not going to be easy, but I guess that's the point.

Lent is about more than sacrifice, and in place of the internet I'm choosing to focus on my faith and on my family. I'll be spending my time in the Word, on the floor with my kids, and organizing my house. I'm really praying that this time can help me to re-focus on the little things that make me tick, and that I'll emerge from it with a better understanding of myself as a mother.

Of course, it's pretty much impossible to cut out the internet entirely. In fairness to grandparents (and my success as a student, I suppose) I'll be taking an hour or so every Sunday afternoon to update the kids' blogs and check my email. This blog will most likely fall lower on the priority scale (there just aren't as many cute pictures of me!) but you can know that there will most likely be new posts here and here, whether I tell you about them or not. Also, the phone is probably a better way to get a hold of me than email... at least until Easter :-)

Here's to a new season of my life!

sweet tooth

After baking cupcakes last week I couldn't wait to get back into the kitchen. I've noticed that I go through frenzies where I want to bake all the time, and then I don't want to deal with the mess so I stop. It'd probably be healthier for all of us if I would just spread it out a little and not have 12 different sweet things hanging around... but where's the fun in that?

Anyway, I had the fixings to put together some ice cream and decided it was time to pull the ol' ice cream machine out of storage (or the pantry... whatever). It always seems like such an ordeal to prep ice cream, and then in 25 minutes it's done. So easy! I got everything ready one day when I had time, and then a few days later I got to fill a sweet-craving in minutes. I'm not sure if it was a good thing for me to discover :-) We've made chocolate chip and regular vanilla before (like ages and ages ago, when my lovely mother-in-law passed the mixer on to us) so I decided to be adventurous and attempt some marbled chocolate:


It was AMAZING. Of course we cleared it all in a couple of days, but I'm definitely making more soon! Even looking at the pictures makes me want to lick the computer screen.

official taster

(I think he's catching on that it's not yogurt, even though I keep calling it that. As in, "No, you don't want any of Mommy's yogurt...")

I also saw a recipe for double-chocolate-espresso-Kahlua-brownie ice cream sandwiches, made from ice cream mixed with baileys. Sounds a little indulgent, right? I made them for Corey on Valentine's day, just because I'm nice like that, and they were a HUGE hit. I didn't take pictures right away because I was too busy trying not to make a mess, so I don't have the amazing double-decker picture that was my pride, but here's one of the smaller ones that I stocked away in the freezer:

(Emily, in case you saw the recipe and were wondering, it's TOTALLY worth the effort!!)

I'm not sure how long this baking kick is going to last, but I'm having a lot of fun trying new things (and some old, like the soda can cake that's cooling in my kitchen right now). Amazingly enough, I'm still dropping baby weight :-)

On a completely unrelated note, you might notice that I haven't posted in a week -- that's because I didn't have any homework due. Figures, right? In case you were wondering, I finished my paper before class (with 5 minutes to spare, even) and actually did pretty well on it. That, friends, is what we call BAD. As in, I'm a bad, bad influence on myself. Did I learn my lesson about procrastinating?? Heck no! I have another paper due next week, so expect some more from me soon :-)